Most men have an idea, a picture in their mind for what their ideal woman is like. Some guys are more particular with looks, others are more focused on personality traits like attitude and values. More others want a woman with a certain kind of lifestyle.

When you think about this woman, you might get a little excited about the day when you inevitably get to meet her. If you’re an optimist.

Or you might feel frustration and wonder how the hell you’re ever going to find someone who meets your standards.

When you’re caught up in this whirlpool of thought, you may be completely forgetting about 50% of the important information here: YOU have to be the ideal man for HER as well!

So many guys feel entitled to date their dream lady, when in reality they are not the man she wants to be with. Let’s consider a perspective shift that may completely change the way you see your dating life.

For 15 minutes — rather than focusing on all the things you need her to be, I want you to think about what her fantasy man is like. Really get into it. For example…

What makes her notice him and remember him in a given environment? What does he say that sets her interest meter off the chart?

How does he interact with her so that she can’t help but reach out to spend time with him after they exchange phone numbers? What keeps her excited for more after the second, third, fourth date?

After you have all of these details, hold them in your mind. Write them down, even. Now you might have guessed where I’m going with this: you now need to BECOME that man you’ve described. Don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re already there if you’re not.  It’s okay.

I’m not talking about some made-up movie character. Let’s be realistic. Where can you consistently improve yourself daily and weekly, from the smallest personal aspects to the biggest parts of your life?

Observe the feedback you get from other people as you progress. Really notice the changes that happen: with your friends, with women, with someone you’re just meeting for the first time.

You have to remind yourself about this over and over because it’s so easy to forget when you’re in the middle of actively dating.

Often the chance to talk to a new, intriguing woman is momentary and fleeting. It’s almost always unexpected when you find someone special. You need to be as prepared for that moment as possible, and the only way to increase your chances of success is to close the gap between yourself and the ideal man.

What’s one thing you can work on today? No excuses, get out there and begin.